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February 21, 2013
15:03 • 3 months ago
lifesgrandparade:

yeahiwasintheshit:

ex-genius:

   In my mind, the story continues: “Scooter store executives then fled using their own products as getaway vehicles, leading authorities on an anticlimactic, low speed chase, which came to an abrupt end when the batteries died on their Jazzy PowerChairs.”
Purported power chair pursuit nonwithstanding - this actually happened: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/business/2013/02/fbi-declares-war-scooter-store/62383/. Those commercials always irked me anyway - knowing that it’s my tax dollars paying for them. 

…and that the “inventor’s” name was tom cruise.

Hoverround is fine right? That thing too me to the statue of liberty and the grand canyon.

Dear enterprising Tumblr-based illustrator, please take this story and draw pictures of what happened during the raid so we can all celebrate the awesomeness of the idea that The Scooter Store got raided by the FBI.

lifesgrandparade:

yeahiwasintheshit:

ex-genius:

   In my mind, the story continues: “Scooter store executives then fled using their own products as getaway vehicles, leading authorities on an anticlimactic, low speed chase, which came to an abrupt end when the batteries died on their Jazzy PowerChairs.”

Purported power chair pursuit nonwithstanding - this actually happened: http://www.theatlanticwire.com/business/2013/02/fbi-declares-war-scooter-store/62383/. Those commercials always irked me anyway - knowing that it’s my tax dollars paying for them. 

…and that the “inventor’s” name was tom cruise.

Hoverround is fine right? That thing too me to the statue of liberty and the grand canyon.

Dear enterprising Tumblr-based illustrator, please take this story and draw pictures of what happened during the raid so we can all celebrate the awesomeness of the idea that The Scooter Store got raided by the FBI.

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    THIS WAS A SCENE IN MY NOVEL FOUR YEARS AGO *dies*
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